ENOUGH!

Imagine this:
~You’re in a crowded bus/train. There’s a girl quite near you who seems to be disturbed, uncomfortable. And you see the reason. A man is touching her inappropriately in her private parts. But she doesn’t say a word as she is frozen; scared. What would you do? ~



Sexual harassment, who hasn’t heard of it? It’s all over the news. A rapist here, a rapist there, and women can’t go on the road without at least a stone in their hands for protection. But who’s to blame?

A Sri Lankan woman was arrested and the public had commented on her badly…for slapping a man in response to sexual harassment!  This was commonly known as the 2014-Wariyapola incident. And not to forget, the brutal gang rape and murder of Vidhya Sivaloganathan in Jaffna on her journey home from school in 2015.  And do I need to remind you of Seya?

Okay, sexual harassment in private spaces, like houses, is quite helpless (but not THAT helpless too!). But sexual harassment on public transport or any public space can’t be so because of the by-standers. But it is!

Why?

Just one word; N-O-R-M-S! Yes, norms, those stupid ideas created by society which favor only one part of it; mostly the rich and the masculine. For now, let’s focus on these norms towards gender and what ‘logic’ they provide.
The following norms are key findings of a study done by Sharanya Sekaram and Anam Parvez Butt of Oxfam.

1.    1..Norms around gender roles.
  •         The ideal woman is submissive; accepts male dominance, is obedient, nurturing, dresses decently with their primary responsibility being looking after their children and home.
  •         The ideal man should provide financial and economic security. He must also be decent and respectful towards women.
  •         Man should be the dominant partner and be responsible for protecting women.
In the past, these norms made sense. The man is physically stronger than the woman so who better to protect the family?

But today is different. It’s not the survival of the fittest any longer. But society has not evolved in this particular field yet.

Masculinity is a word people use unnecessarily today; how men are the ‘pillars of this country’, ‘the country’s future’, etc. Oh yes, these are words which I’ve heard with my own ears. No one has realized the ACTUAL pillars of a country: women.

I could write a whole book on feminism, but for now let’s focus on the following norms and try to get rid of them as soon as possible.

2.     2.Norms around sexual harassment.
  •        Women should dress decently to avoid harassment. If they dress any differently, they are inviting harassment upon themselves and should not expect any different.
But in this survey, in Batticaloa, younger participants had said that women who wear religious attire like the hijab are more likely to be harassed since some men think that they would not resist or retaliate in public transport. Another norm very similar to the character of a woman is
  •         Women who face harassment are the ‘wrong type’ of women/women who have transgressed their prescribed roles.
Okay, let’s say a woman obeys all these norms. Does the harasser know that? Of course not! All he sees is a woman and an opportunity to do this:
  •         Men need to fulfill their needs-it’s common for them to do so.
Oh really? Then they must be animals, because from what I’ve watched and read about animals, they’d grab any female of their species to ‘fulfill their needs’, rats especially.
Now, about reporting these incidents;
  •         Bystanders don’t and should not intervene because it isn’t their business; they’ll get into trouble or make the situation worse.
Quick question: HOW? How can saving a woman or a girl from being sexually harassed get a bystander in trouble? Is this what people call logic nowadays? If so, it’s certainly not for me or anyone who agrees with me.
  •         The police are not helpful or supportive when complaints about SGBV on public transport are made to them.
Then why would the police even exist? The police represent the sword held by the symbol of law. Therefore, I hereby pronounce this norm: Useless.
  •         The onus of responsibility for preventing and/or responding to SGBV falls on women, it is their responsibility.
  •         Good women do not complain, yell or hit perpetrators.
  •         It is not normal for survivors to speak out and complain.
Um, what? First, it’s the woman’s responsibility to respond to SGBV, then ‘good women don’t complain or hit the perpetrators’, and what sort of norm is that?! It’s like saying, decent people don’t move aside suddenly when a speeding vehicle is coming right at them; it’s nonsense.

And then there’s the latter one. Why? Why is it not normal for survivors to speak out and complain? As I’ve said, it doesn’t matter about the dress code of the woman. The perpetrators don’t care. They don’t look at a woman and go, “Oh she’s fully dressed. I shouldn’t do anything to her”. No, like I said, all they see is a woman, a female of the human species and, like a male rat, tries to fulfill his hormone rush. (Sometimes I wonder; don’t these problems occur because the people weren’t educated on sex? It may be embarrassing to talk about, but I feel that, instead of educating the children on these subjects at the right time and avoiding it as much as possible, only the norms about sex and gender would enter their heads and create a disaster. Am I right? I want to know.)
Lastly,
  •        Perpetrators will continue to harass-we should not expect any different i.e. perpetrators are not expected to change their behavior.
Oh, no they won’t! Expect the difference and make it begin with you. It’s not the woman’s fault, it’s the perpetrators’. If you are observant about you and if you spread awareness of this catastrophe, they won’t continue to. If you travel on public transport and you see such harassment, create a scene!

Here’s 7 ways;

·        1.Be seen!
 Make your presence known and move closer to the victim.

·         2.Distract!

·         3.Engage !

·         4.Notice details
Bus number, route, time, what the perpetrator looked like.

·        5.Speak up!
(Section 345 of the Penal code-causing sexual annoyance or harassment by word or action is liable for a maximum of 5 years of imprisonment and/or fine and/or is ordered to pay compensation to the victim.)

·        6.Report!
Speak to a bus conductor and/or a police officer
0112 444 444
119
1938

·        7.Support
Offer assistance to the victim. Respect the victim’s right to privacy.

(For free counseling services contact Shanti Maargam
0717639898)

If you create a scene, you can save at least one woman or girl. Show the society and the perpetrators that this is not the past world anymore. This world can be better and WILL be better without these stupid norms. If being good won’t stop the trouble, then NO MORE MR NICE GUY! If stopping sexual harassment is a crime, then, call me crazy, I suggest we all go to jail. Either way,

ENOUGH!
End harassment on public transport!
Be a better bystander!

Share this post and create awareness of sexual harassment on public transport.




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